Having visited my sisters recently I was suprised to see how shy my baby niece was. She is nearly two years old and full of life, and she gets on with me famously. It’s just that every time I see her it takes up to an hour or so before she comes out of her shell. I am naturally a shy person and so is my sister, so I know how debilitating this condition can be. Shyness has led to many missed opportunities throughout my early adult life which makes me wonder where I might be now had I been outgoing and bubbly. At University I didn’t join any of the societies I was interested in and only had the courage to speak to people when I was under the influence of alchohol which lead to many hangovers and regrets the nest day. Dutch courage is not the answer. When I left University I gradually lost contact with the few friends I had as I was never confident when contacting them. This has led me to feel depressed at times.
I have also noticed that some people I have interacted with who have sometimes given the impression of being arrogant or cold and unfriendly, were actually just shy. Only realising later made me realise that, that was how I must come across to people sometimes, in my desperation to end the conversation.
I used to think that shyness was due to nurture, not nature, but seeing my niece now I’m not so sure. My advice to any parents who see their child developing into a shy person would be to learn how to overcome shyness before it leads to unfulfilment in later life. Drama and acting classes can be a great way to bring people out of their shell, as can many other methods of building self esteem. I now know that socialising is a skill not a natural born talent, and like any other skill, can be improved with practise as I have learned with an online course and some reading.